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Deschooling: Step One for the New Homeschooler (the Definitions, the Dangers, and the Delight)

March 9, 2018 | 1 Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Don’t forget to join my private facebook group where we talk about how to homeschool in a relaxed way! You’ll love my seasoned tips!

Take the kids out of public school one day, begin homeschooling the next day; it’s a common rookie mistake. And it seems almost impossible to change to a relaxed mindset when you jump from one stressful situation into another one. Deschooling is the first step for any new homeschool family.

Public school kids turned homeschooled kids are not the only ones that  benefit from a deschooling process. Parents who’ve never sent their kids to public school need a deschooling period and need to resist the challenge of beginning public school at home.

How to Shove Back at the Rigidity of Public School

Newbies who follow a deschooling process minimize beginner’s stress and maximize the best beginner’s moments and have good memories for a lifetime.

Homeschoolers, on the other hand, who take no time to understand and implement a plan for the transitional period can set themselves up for a hard road. There are a few guidelines you’ll want to follow.

Start with the basics first. Look the definitions below and then I’m sharing the dangers and how to make this time period a delight.

Deschooling Defined – And No It’s Not Unschooling

Deschooling is a process and unschooling is a homeschool approach.

Regardless of which homeschool approach, i.e. classical, unschooling, unit studies, or Charlotte Mason you follow, deschooling is the first step.

Definitions vary, but most of them include these critical pieces of information.

Deschooling is a period of time when all family members rest both physically and mentally from a public school lifestyle. Resting is the first phase. Even if you have a child that has never attended public school, it’s about defining your understanding of what is homeschooling.

It’s the time to unlearn what you think education should be as taught from a public school mindset and to be open to new, natural, and creative ways to teach your kids.

It’s realizing that taking your kids out of school one day and doing the exact thing at home  the next day that wasn’t working in public school is the definition of insanity (ouch).

It’s letting go and letting in something new in your life; it’s accepting the homeschool lifestyle which is opposite of the public school lifestyle.

It’s having humility to start over learning a new educational approach. More important, it means taking time to get to know your child unlike you have before when he was away from you for eight hours.

Moving away from focusing just on curriculum and focusing on the needs first of your family is at the core of the process.

Embracing tears and fears and excitement and eagerness all at once is the norm. It’s not just filtering and embracing raw emotions, but it’s being active in learning everything about how to homeschool.

During the deschooling process, some families take a much needed family vacation, others fill their days with trips to the museum, to the beach, to the library and try to learn another pace.

How to Determine the Length of Deschooling

What to do during the relaxation period and how long to deschool varies for each family, ages of your kids, and circumstances. One rule of thumb says that for every year the child is in public school take off a month.

That may seem excessive to some, but my experience has been it’s pretty close.

During the deschooling period, it does not mean a family is not learning. It does mean they’re learning in a relaxed pace set to the rhythm of the family.

It doesn’t mean rigidity; it does mean routine. Throwing all caution to the wind is not the purpose of deschooling.

In helping many new homeschoolers to transition to the homeschool lifestyle, I know that older children feel more comfortable with a routine pretty quickly. Just don’t saddle them with many worksheets and subjects while you’re investigating together what they want to learn.

A transitional period requires time to allow each member of the family time to unlearn old ways of learning and focus on the interests of each kid.

This also includes you. Stepping back and analyzing what type of teacher you want to be and assessing what are the current needs of each child takes time and you have it.

Part of the deschooling process is not feeling hurried to keep pace of public school to begin in August and end in May.

Many states have relaxed homeschool laws and you have time to start up your school year. Too, as you’ll learn, most homeschool families have a formal start and stop to their year,  but we also know that learning takes place naturally pretty well everyday. There are many opportunities to learn that don’t have to be scheduled.

The longer the child has been in public school, the longer it takes.

It’s true too that sometimes it’s harder to take the public school mentality out of the parents than it is to take it out of the kids. Like any other significant change in your life, a job change, adding a newborn to your family, or moving, you can’t fast forward the deschooling or adjustment period. It takes time.

Activities for a Meaningful Deschooling Period 

How active or not a family is when they’ve stepped off the public school treadmill varies according to each circumstance.

If your child has been bullied and you’ve fought daily for him at school, you’ll want more time at home healing and being together. If you have a young child that has not been in public school too long, but long enough to be bored, you may want to find local classes for him to join.

Like I mentioned before, deschooling is a relaxed pace or process and it doesn’t mean a state of nothingness. You want to take back the control of teaching and start by feeding your children’s desire to learn subjects or do activities that interests them.

Rekindle the spark of learning and that doesn’t happen by throwing a workbook at a kid or putting them in front of a computer. It just doesn’t.

Kids need you, they need their family, and they need to take ownership of their learning. Start by asking them what they want to learn. Then, research it on the computer or go to the library – together.

Field trips, zoos, living history reenactments, and museums have a way of igniting that dwindling spark.

Activities don’t have to be expensive. A walk on the beach, a trip the local nature reserve, camping together as a family, taking an art class together, taking a cooking class, going to the movies, trips to the library, lounging around reading stories that interests your children, craft time, and park time are just a very few possibilities all now opened to your family.

When Are You Finally Cured of the Public School Mindset?

There is probably not a time that you won’t think about public school because we’re infected by the educational madness and unbalanced view of how much time it really takes to teach a child.

But there does come a time when you see all family members naturally putting their needs and wants for learning ahead of popular opinion on what a child needs to learn.

We all know kids need the three Rs – reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic. Beyond the core subjects, the rest of what we learn and how we learn it is subjective.

To illustrate: A relaxed homeschool educator knows that learning how to write (a core subject) mixed with reading a history story or doing a hands-on science activity (the fun subjects) makes learning meaningful.

While the core subjects are absolutely essential, it’s valuable to teach them only to the extent they’re practical, useful, and make learning come alive.

When that method for teaching a child is followed year after year, you win over your child as a partner to his learning.

Instead of being passive learners, they’re an active participant in it. Therein lies the subtle, but significant difference between spoon feeding a child to high school ( not recommended and won’t work) and gently guiding your child’s love for learning.

Are You Bulldozing Ahead to Deschooling Danger?

Most all homeschool families have and want rigorous academic standards, but not all of them have abandoned the archaic ways of the past like torture and confinement. Just kidding, although some days I wonder when I read how parents charge ahead to purchase curriculum as if curriculum infuses what was lost at public school.

Curriculum is just one piece of the homeschooling puzzle.

It’s so much easier throwing a workbook at your child than it is to jump in and determine the best learning approach for him, the best schedule, and how to determine the order of the subjects.  I’m not saying we can’t start by using workbooks, but it has to be a tool and not the teacher.

Jumping from one stressful situation in public school to another stressful situation at home equals a great big ole’ heap of unneeded stress.

It’s not a waste of time to step back, relax, and read about homeschooling while learning together.

Deschooling Resources

Look at some of these resources that will help you to deschool.

  • My free 31 Day Boot Camp on my blog for New Homeschoolers.
  • Be sure you know the law of your area and are not homeschooling or choosing curriculum in fear and ignorance. How I can count the ways that a new homeschooler thought she wanted teacher help and grading from a provider to only regret it later. Click here on HSLDA and click on the map to find your state.
  • Don’t forget to join my private facebook group with other homeschoolers to get more ideas on how to deschool.
  • Grab this guide, Deschooling Gently, as a guide to beginning your deschooling journey.
  • The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling reminds you to not forget the reasons that brought you to homeschooling. 
  • Real Homeschool: Letting Go of the Pinterest-Perfect and Instagram-Ideal Homeschool is about keeping it real from the beginning.
  • Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace reminds you to start from a point of peace.
  • Staying Sane as You Homeschool (Learn Differently).
  • Homeschool Helps. Curriculum that worked for me.
  • For the Children’s Sake is a reminder of the joy, freedom, and beauty possible in life and learning.

If you’ll thoroughly grasp the homeschool laws of where you live, fold in family activities that suit your family, begin slowly, read everything you can read while you start slow, you’ll avoid a unrecoverable crash and burn.

Telling you that you won’t have problems or burn out is untruthful.

I’m telling you that you’ll need many times to come back to deschooling to get readjusted and then your journey will be memorable for the right reasons.Deschooling: Step One for the New Homeschooler (the Definitions, the Dangers, and the Delight). Take the kids out of public school one day, begin homeschooling the next day; it's a common rookie mistake. And it seems almost impossible to change to a relaxed mindset when you jump from one stressful situation into another one. Deschooling is the first step for any new homeschool family. CLICK HERE to grab these AWESOME tips from a seasoned veteran!Do you have any questions about deschooling?

Also, you’ll love these other helps:

  • Deschool – Get off the Public School Treadmill!
  • Day 3: What is Not Homeschooling! {31 Day Blog Boot Camp For New Homeschoolers}
  • Transitioning from a Public School Mindset to a Relaxed Homeschooling Lifestyle 
  • Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work?

Hugs and love ya,

1 CommentFiled Under: Homeschool Simply, Kick Off Your Homeschool Year Tagged With: deschooling, fearless homeschooling, homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool crisis, new homeschool year, new homeschooler, newbeehomeschooler

Homeschooling STARTS When You STOP Caring What Others Think

December 21, 2017 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When I was in homeschool leadership, I was told I dressed up too much. It was like passive aggressive compliments. Caring what they thought, I started dressing like I thought they wanted me to do. What is ironic is that I’m not really a person who cares much about what other people think. However, deep down, I am a person who likes drama free leadership. Looking back, caring what they thought was my part (or so I thought) in keeping our group drama free. But, what I actually learned from my homeschool fashion faux pas was that homeschooling really starts when you stop caring what others think.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m no fashionista for sure.

I am a girl who loves makeup, big jewelry, and clothes that mix and match.

I’ve always loved a chance to not wear my sweat pants as a homeschool mom. Homeschooling REALLY STARTS When You STOP Caring What Others Think. Click here to read why I cared and shouldn't have!Instead of dressing like myself, I dressed to please others and felt frumpy.

At some homeschool events, I tried to paste on a happy smile, but I was miserable when I started wearing things that didn’t really express the kind of person I was.

Letting go of the worry about what other leaders would think as they showed up in sweat pants helped me to see that the way they wanted to look was their choice.

I wasn’t judging them or even being critical of what made them feel good, but at the same time I couldn’t let go of who I was either.

I learned that it wasn’t really about fashion when I showed up for leadership.Homeschooling STARTS When You STOP Caring What Others Think Don't Change the way you are inside or outIt was about being myself even in how I homeschooled and not changing because others had a set way of doing things.

When Homeschooling Really Starts

Look at these 3 valuable tips to help you stop caring what others think.

ONE/Know your own teaching heart and style.

This is where I failed.

I knew I loved to teach. Instead of focusing on drawing up what was inside, I cared about things that didn’t really matter.

What is more attractive is knowing exactly the person you are and what you want to teach.

When I took a moment to analyze how the other leaders were showing up at events, I needed to not make it my business.

Showing up in sweats did not made my feel dynamic.

TWO/ It does mean you have to respect others.

A lot of the way some homeschoolers acted in our group wasn’t something I cared for either.

After all the hard work done by leaders, some homeschool moms were determined to not respect a different way of doing things.

What I learned was that not caring about what others think as I honed my teaching style, choose my homeschool approach, and curriculum didn’t mean I couldn’t respect their choices.

I know that as a homeschooler we are pretty opinionated people and I can admit that.

Having my strong opinion about how to homeschool my kids didn’t mean I couldn’t respect another homeschooler’s opinion even if it was different than mine.

THREE/ Talk with a close homeschooling friend who really knows you.

One of the best things I did was to talk to a close homeschooling friend who knows me inside out.

When I was struggling in my leadership group with dressing in a way that didn’t make me feel good inside, it was because deep down I don’t like drama in a group.

Talking to a friend who helped me to see that I can’t control what others think, helped me to focus on not worrying about what if drama occurs.

It bothered me too because when I get dressed up it’s part of what makes me feel good down inside.

My closest homeschooling friend helped me to appreciate that it’s also unhealthy to not be who I am and what makes me light up.

I love sweats and putting my hair up, but a lot of times those are moments (to me) that are for private. I don’t go out in public looking like that.

My homeschooling style is similar.

We have a certain routine or formality that runs our day because it makes our homeschooling dynamic.

I did have a homeschool room when the kids were little and set it up a lot like a school room. We loved going in our room each day and I loved how organized it was.

Also, in the privacy of our home we wear our pjs and sweats too. Just like we have a very relaxed and informal learning time each day.Homeschooling STARTS When You STOP Caring What Others Think. What is ironic is that I'm not a person who cares much about what other people think. But in this case, I did. Click here to read why it mattered and shouldn’t have!For many years now I dress to make me happy as I attend or lead homeschool events. The same way I run my homeschool. And just like when I got sidetracked in my leadership roles and dressed in a frumpy way that didn’t please, I’ve made the same mistakes when homeschooling.

I’ve chosen curriculum that I’ve had to dump because it didn’t fit our homeschooling lifestyle. It’s so easy to forget who you are in the world of homeschooling.

I won’t ever let it happen again.

Have you made some of the same mistakes?

I think you’ll also like these tips!

  • Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs? 
  • Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children? Part 1. 
  • Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children? Part 2.

Hugs and love ya,

Leave a CommentFiled Under: Be an Exceptional Homeschool Teacher, Homeschool Simply Tagged With: fearless homeschooling, homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool joys

Homeschooling Stubborn Teens: Not for the Faint of Heart

November 8, 2017 | 2 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

While homeschooling through the years we confront with dogged determination many scenarios which makes us weak at the knees or makes our heart skip a beat. But, nothing comes even close to the enemy in our own midst – our sweet child turned stubborn, unmotivated, and seemingly lazy teen. Homeschooling stubborn teens is not for the faint of heart.

I’ve learned that although it’s easier to blame my teens for everything that went wrong, I too had to learn how to parent differently. As each of my sons reached the teen years, I’ve had to become more resourceful and creative in how I homeschool them.

I've learned that although it's easier to blame my teens for everything that went wrong, I too had to learn how to parent differently. As each of my sons reached the teen years, I've had to become more resourceful and creative in how I homeschool them. Click here to grab these SUPER helpful tips!

Avoiding drama in your house is not all together impossible, but you can curb it and cope with it by learning from my mistakes.

3 PARENTING TECHNIQUES FOR HOMESCHOOLING STUBBORN TEENS

Whether your teen has been homeschooled from the beginning, came willing to homeschool after many years in public school or had no choice, he wants choices now.

One/ Focus on the teen, not the school.

However, before you can get to choices, the number one mistake made by many homeschooling families is to focus on homeschool. Yep, wrong focus right now.

The teacher in us is ready to go, but the mom in us should lead right now. Problems, whether academic or developmental, signal something is wrong.

Although a teen can now vocalize that he hates math or writing and is seen as unmotivated, that’s only the result of what is going on inside.

Before assuming it’s a lack of motivation, step back, and deschool. You can’t move forward until you and your teen are both ready.

Coming into adulthood takes a toll daily on your teen and he needs you now more than ever.

Two/ Deschool now before it’s too late.

Look at ways you can step back, deschool, and focus. Move forward by stepping back instead of butting heads:

  • If he hates math, ask him which subjects he does like. Use that knowledge to plan a routine. For example, get the worst subjects out of the way at his peak time and in a place he chooses. Explain to him that he can make those choices, however, if he is not doing his math because he decided to lie down on his bed, then it’ll have to change. I had one son that just because he could sit on his bed, he was in the right mindset to do math which was a subject he hated. He did well and eventually later in high school, he moved to the table. Give him some choice. BUT, first take time to not do school while you question him (few questions in the beginning) about subjects he likes and doesn’t like. Help him to make a routine for the day he loves while satisfying your requirements.
  • Next, do something he wants to do. For us, it was skateboarding, bicycling and watching movies. I told my teens to not do school for a few days while they played. My teens praised me as the best homeschooling mom ever (ha, but I had a motive). Like all smart moms who want their sons to do well in academics, I knew that they had to see first that I was reasonable. After they played for a few days and I could see it winding down, I discussed with each one how to work in what they liked doing while balancing their academic load. It worked. They knew I was reasonable, but had expectations. Including them in the discussion gave them the control they wanted.
  • Focus on when the rebellion occurs. For example, I knew our problem was an over scheduling problem with one of my teens. The rest of the day he was pretty compliant barring a few bad moods. Over all, the sulking and back talking happened only during school. Stepping back and allowing my teen to rest gave me time to understand how many credits I wanted for middle or high school teen. I reworked his schedule. However, if your teen is complaining pretty much the whole day, then it’s a parenting or rebellious issue and homeschooling is getting a bum rap.

Three/ Over ambitious homeschooling can backfire.

It’s easy to say when your child is five or six years old what he will and will not do as a teen, but it’s quite a different thing scheduling for him at 15 or 16 years old.

While it may be true that a teen doesn’t have to love learning because work places or colleges don’t care if he does, it never worked when I told them that.

I’ve never made progress with my sons when I vented and I normally had nothing helpful to say when I lost it.

Pushing my sons to do college courses early while in high school, having them take jobs too early, and do heavier maths because they were hardworking could’ve backfired.

Stepping back to reaffirm that heart schooling was just as important as academics helped me to solidify the fact that homeschooling is a lifestyle. I want my sons to homeschool their sons because I believe it’s the best way to teach a child.

HOMESCHOOLING TEENS WITH THE FUTURE IN MIND

Homeschooling with a future generation in mind helped me realize that I wholeheartedly believe learning is a privilege.

Curbing my desire to sock it to my boys with their academic load while being teens helped us to not only lap up the precious teen years, but love every minute of it.

Sometimes the solution to a problem was to just stop. And remembering each teen is different helped me to see problems from each kid’s perspective. Can you relate?

What kind of problems are you trying to overcome with your teen?

When your teens are grown and look back at how you didn’t give up on them, all of the hard times will be memories. You’ll only see the beautiful man or woman thanking you. Your knees will then be weak for another reason – overwhelming happy emotion.

I've learned that although it's easier to blame my teens for everything that went wrong, I too had to learn how to parent differently. As each of my sons reached the teen years, I've had to become more resourceful and creative in how I homeschool them. Click here to grab these SUPER helpful tips!

Also, you’ll find these other articles super helpful. Don’t give up now. You’re almost there.

  • 4 Reasons Your Homeschooled Child is Uninspired To Learn (and what to do)
  • Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work? 
  • Teach Your Homeschooled Teen the Art of Studying (without nagging) 
  • 9th Grade Homeschool High School – Avoid the Sock It to Them Attitude

Hugs and love ya,

2 CommentsFiled Under: Graduate a Homeschooler, Homeschool Boys, Homeschool Teens _ From Teen to Graduation Tagged With: fearless homeschooling, homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool highschool, homeschool mistakes, homeschoolchallenges, middleschool, teens

4 Undeniable Reasons People Hate Homeschooling (Keep It Real)

July 19, 2017 | 10 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

After homeschooling for about 19+ years, I've given up thousands of hours of free time, a lucrative career, put my health on the back burner, and some years I regrettably spent way more time with my kids than my husband. I felt like quitting homeschool many times, hated homeschooling more times that I can count, and many times I've felt like all I was doing was arguing with kids. If I wasn't debating with one of them, I felt like my brain cells were being agonizingly sucked out!After homeschooling for about 19+ years, I’ve given up thousands of hours of free time, a lucrative career, put my health on the back burner, and some years I regrettably spent way more time with my kids than my husband. I felt like quitting homeschool many times, hated homeschooling more times that I can count, and many times I’ve felt like all I was doing was arguing with kids. If I wasn’t debating with one of them, I felt like my brain cells were being agonizingly sucked out by doing another mind-numbing math algorithm.

I’m pulling back the curtain to reveal the ugly side of homeschooling. Today, I’m sharing just 4 undeniable reasons people hate homeschooling because you and I both know there are more. In the spirit of keeping it real and because I want you to know that I’m not a supermom, I hope by exposing to you the overwhelming struggles that homeschooling moms endure, you’ll be prepared to confront them head-on.

I need to tell you a story first. It won’t take too long, I promise. But you need to know where I’m coming from.

In my last weeks of pregnancy with Mr. Senior 2013, he was breech. The doctor told me he wanted to perform a version, an external procedure where the doctor turns the baby. With both hands on the surface of your stomach, one hand is by the baby’s head and the other by his butt. The doctor pushes and rolls the baby to a head-down position.

Is Homeschool Fatigue Really Okay?

With my husband beside me and a staff of doctors ready to do the procedure, my doctor gently reminded me again that this procedure is one of the most painful procedures in childbirth. By not sugarcoating it, I could somehow prepare my mind and body or so I thought.

Though the experience was one of the most agonizing of my life, the result was that my son was born healthy and headfirst after the procedure. Nothing could of prepared me for the pain. No mindset even came close.

Some years of homeschooling are similar. No amount of mental preparation seems to make you ready for the fact that homeschooling takes over your life.

Like that procedure, I needed to have my mind and body ready for the task ahead.

Homeschoooling is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and there are more times than I can count that I hated it.

I’m hoping by sharing these 4 not so glamorous things about homeschooling and a few ways of how I coped that you’ll also be ready when you have times when you flat out hate homeschooling.

►You’re never alone. You can’t even hide out in the bathroom.

Oh sure, homeschool moms will tell you to hire sitters. I did. And when my extended family live closed, I got help. The truth of it is that a lot of homeschool moms don’t have the luxury of family living close or knowing a lot of people in the beginning that they would trust with their kids.

Homeschooling is pretty much about being around your kids most of the time. From the time they were babies, even getting a shower for the day was a major feat. Many days, I cried in frustration because I was not able to homeschool, let alone clean my house. Those years were very hard. They didn’t equal to anything I had coming up though in the preteen years. More on that in a minute.

However, the time did come when my sons were old enough to respect my alone time. At first when they were little, I used a timer. I set it for 25 minutes. The rule was they couldn’t come into my room to talk to me. Like all moms that love their kids there is always exceptions for emergencies and fighting kids, but for the most part they knew to leave me alone. They thought it was a game and I didn’t care. But making a plan for self-care propelled me through that time.

Now, when my young adult sons throw their big hairy arms around me as young men, drive me to places, cook food for me and tell me how much they’re glad I homeschooled them, the hard years seem like a fading mist.

Words can’t even express the love I have for them and how very, very grateful I am that I didn’t get bitter, give in and send them to public school.

No, but homeschooling is not easy.

►Kids are unmotivated, lazy, back talking, and disrespectful.

I’m not talking about other homeschooler’s kids, but about my own kids. Yes, I’ve experienced all of those things.

At the time when those things were happening, I thought it was because we were constantly around each other. It wasn’t.

Instead of being a homeschool issue, it was a discipline issue. It’s hard to see that at the time because homeschooling gets blamed for everything.

I learned homeschooling brings out not only the good in your kids, but the ugly too. When habits haven’t been formed for learning, then you can’t go forward. Homeschooling gets blamed because that is how we spend most of our day.

The truth of it is that negative behavior exhibits in homeschooling because it’s hard work.

The easy thing in parenting is to not deal with the disrespecting at the moment and to blame homeschooling because our kid’s attitude toward any work is much pretty crap all the time.

First, I had to correct their attitudes and save my energy for those upheavals in our day. No amount of homeschooling or excellent and superior curriculum will correct that.

Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. When you have to diligently parent and meticulously homeschool in the same day, it makes for many rough years.

Because I did both parenting and homeschooling at the same time instead of sending my kids away where bad behavior may possibly be nurtured or overlooked, I’m grateful that I could deal with it as it came up.

I won’t win the parent of the year award now that two of my sons are adults, but I have won their hearts and have a wonderful relationship with them. It’s built on mutual respect, dignity and love for each other.

►People are going to think your kids are “weird” regardless of what you do and how well-rounded out your kids are.

Although two of my sons have graduated with high grades, are successfully pursuing their interests, and have tons of personality, people still look at them and me weird.

And no, we don’t milk goats, raise chickens, or homeschool my kids under a rock. But I don’t have a problem either with people who choose to do that.

It’s important for you to know that I’ve never cared much about what people think about me or my choices. And I’m PROUD that my kid’s don’t get their chains yanked by people who are mindless and bend to every current whim or ideology by the masses.

What will not ever go away is the stigma attached with homeschooling kids. That they are awkward and social misfits. Some days you just don’t want to see the eye-rolling or hear the muttered, “Ohhhh”.

What are the Benefits of Not Quitting Homeschool?

► Many times, the house just doesn’t get cleaned. Easy to deal with when it’s not your home.

I’ve heard a lot through the years about the house cleaning thing. In the beginning, I didn’t have the right attitude either or I thought, again.

As a neat freak, overbearing, critical about the details person, I had to do a lot of soul searching if I wanted to survive homeschooling. Balance is not easy when you already don’t get any time to yourself or have hormonal teens.

Looking back now, I’m so glad that I didn’t give up the need to have clean surroundings, but learned that I was not balanced in how much I needed to do.

All that matters is what you and your husband want when it comes to a clean house. Now, a lot, but not all of our friends are homeschool families like us. They understand books strewn about, projects growing on the counter, and science projects with foul smells in the refrigerator.

The most important thing I learned was that unless I was feeling calm about the house mess, I couldn’t be at my best while teaching. However, I too had to compromise. Instead of doing everything I wanted to do on my house cleaning day, I learned to do the important things to me, like a clean toilet, clean linens, and clean floors.

House cleaning is about compromise and that means it will never be done your way as long as you homeschool.

I’m not finished yet, do you want to know a few more things that you will face in your homeschool journey? Have you encountered any of these things so far?

Look at my 31 free Boot Camp for New or Struggling Homeschoolers where I keep it real, Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School and Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps (Want to Join Me?).

Hugs and love ya,

 

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

10 CommentsFiled Under: Be an Exceptional Homeschool Teacher, Begin Homeschooling, Homeschool Simply, Homeschool When Nobody Wants To, Homeschooling Tagged With: fearless homeschooling, homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool crisis, homeschool lifestyle, homeschool mistakes, homeschoolchallenges, preventinghomeschoolburnout, reasonstohomeschool

Planning Homeschool High School Graduation: Menu and Venue (Day 4)

April 8, 2017 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

10 Days of Planning a Homeschool High School Graduation: Menu and Venue (Day 4). As I learned, choosing a menu goes hand in hand with choosing a venue. We knew we were wanting to host a graduation with a sit down dinner and not just serve light refreshments. I feel there are a handful of occasions that come around in life that deserve more attention than normal; graduating high school is one of them. We chose to serve a dinner for our guests. CLICK here to learn how we celebrated!

As I learned, choosing a menu goes hand in hand with choosing a venue.

We knew we were wanting to host a graduation with a sit down dinner and not just serve light refreshments.

I feel there are a handful of occasions that come around in life that deserve more attention than normal; graduating high school is one of them. We chose to serve a dinner for our guests. Keeping it small keeps it affordable too.

At first, Mr. Senior 2013 decided he wanted Italian food. We love Italian food. However, I feel when serving to a larger crowd and because not everybody has the same taste palate, a more diverse menu was in order.

Making Homeschool Lifetime Memories NOW

He agreed and in the end we kept to our southern roots and added in something special, like the prime rib. Here is our menu for the night

  • chicken friend chicken with smothered cream gravy
  • prime rib
  • garlic mashed potatoes
  • southern style green beans (no half cooked crispy green beans)
  • salad/trimmings
  • homemade bread sticks

Having hosted many parties where I both prepared the food and brought it, I didn’t want to do that this time. I wanted to enjoy the out of town guests and family instead of running around serving/preparing food.

Look at these tips I learned when ordering the food through a catering service that saved us some money.

  • Choose a time of the week when it’s not as busy. Saturday is more like a peak time, so having our party on Friday, it was a better price break.
  • I chose entrees and sides separately instead of paying by the plate. In other words think like you are picking up the food with 40 servings instead of telling them they are catering.
  • By serving the food ourselves, we didn’t have the extra charge for set up, serving and tips for servers.
  • For us, the venue was right down the road, so the caterer only charged an extra $25.00 for delivery. If the place is further away, having somebody responsible with a huge van works too. For me, having the chef deliver the food worked out better since he had rolling carts and brought his hired help.Cake and Food - Homeschool Graduation @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

At this time, I ordered the cake too. Being the guy that he is, Mr. Senior 2013 only had a few things he wanted. One thing was he didn’t want it to look like a wedding cake or “too girly”. I think if you have a daughter, she will probably have a lot to say on this.

Homeschool High School Graduation – Party Time!

I think it’s hard for cakes to look anything other than plain pretty. I ended up having it made and chose an ombre (graduated color) blue design. Keeping the table simple with candles, flowers and a white cake stand, kept it pretty, simple, and elegant.

Homeschool Venue @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus Welcoming Lobby Homeschool Graduation @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus
homeschool graduation location @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus Kitchen matters Homeschool Graduation @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

As far as the venue, we have a lot of places around us to choose from. I have lived in places where you only have a handful of places that are nice. But, if you have a choice, look for these things.

  • Is there a fee for set up or cleaning?
  • Do you have to clean? Can you pay for somebody to clean it afterwards? We got the place clean and so all we had to do was pitch in at the end and clean up. Our homeschool kids are use to doing this because of how many field trips we have had hosted.
  • We ended up going with a community center that has a nice kitchen so I could keep the food warm when it was delivered. There was plenty of parking and it was easy to find so I didn’t have to send out instructions with the invitations. The lobby was warm and inviting.

But, I think the best tips of all are the money savings tips because why not take advantage of them. Who wants to pay full price when we can get a deal?

Remembering that some managers gave me a discount for places we have rented for our homeschool co-ops during the week, my hubby asked them for renting the place on FRIDAY and not a peak time like Saturday night.

They were delighted because hardly anybody rents a room or building on a Friday.

We cut our cost significantly, about 40% by renting it on Friday. Our homeschool friends are pretty flexible and as long as they knew ahead of time, they can arrange their schedules.

Choosing to do some of the serving and cleaning ourselves, the party was fast becoming a part diy party. But that is not the only diy thing we did. You know homeschoolers become true do it yourself people the longer we homeschool. It’s true.

Next post, I will share some more things we did to prepare for the decorations and yep, it included getting the Mr. to help us out too.

If you missed the other posts in this series, you can catch up below:

10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation: Day 1 Start the Planning

10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation: Day 1 Start the Planning

Day 2 Senior Portraits/Cap & Gown. 10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation

Day 2 Senior Portraits/Cap & Gown. 10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation

Day 3 Homeschool Graduation Invitations Which Words Matter Tinas Dynamic Homeschool Plus thum Day 3 Homeschool Graduation Invitations–Which Words Matter. 10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation

Day 3 Homeschool Graduation Invitations–Which Words Matter. 10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation

You may also like Ten Best Tech Gifts for Teen Boys,  Fun and (maybe Frugal) Homeschool High School Electives and How to Grade a Homeschool Unit Study for an Older Child (& high school assessment).

Hugs and love ya,

Leave a CommentFiled Under: 4. {10 Days of ... Blogging Series}, Graduate a Homeschooler, Homeschool Teens _ From Teen to Graduation, How To - - -, Planning a Homeschool High School Graduation Tagged With: fearless homeschooling, homeschool, homeschool highschool, homeschool joy, homeschool joys, homeschool lifestyle, homeschoolgraduation, middleschool, teens

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