When I was in homeschool leadership, I was told I dressed up too much. It was like passive aggressive compliments. Caring what they thought, I started dressing like I thought they wanted me to do. What is ironic is that I’m not really a person who cares much about what other people think. However, deep down, I am a person who likes drama free leadership. Looking back, caring what they thought was my part (or so I thought) in keeping our group drama free. But, what I actually learned from my homeschool fashion faux pas was that homeschooling really starts when you stop caring what others think.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m no fashionista for sure.
I am a girl who loves makeup, big jewelry, and clothes that mix and match.
I’ve always loved a chance to not wear my sweat pants as a homeschool mom. Instead of dressing like myself, I dressed to please others and felt frumpy.
At some homeschool events, I tried to paste on a happy smile, but I was miserable when I started wearing things that didn’t really express the kind of person I was.
Letting go of the worry about what other leaders would think as they showed up in sweat pants helped me to see that the way they wanted to look was their choice.
I wasn’t judging them or even being critical of what made them feel good, but at the same time I couldn’t let go of who I was either.
I learned that it wasn’t really about fashion when I showed up for leadership.It was about being myself even in how I homeschooled and not changing because others had a set way of doing things.
When Homeschooling Really Starts
Look at these 3 valuable tips to help you stop caring what others think.
ONE/Know your own teaching heart and style.
This is where I failed.
I knew I loved to teach. Instead of focusing on drawing up what was inside, I cared about things that didn’t really matter.
What is more attractive is knowing exactly the person you are and what you want to teach.
When I took a moment to analyze how the other leaders were showing up at events, I needed to not make it my business.
Showing up in sweats did not made my feel dynamic.
TWO/ It does mean you have to respect others.
A lot of the way some homeschoolers acted in our group wasn’t something I cared for either.
After all the hard work done by leaders, some homeschool moms were determined to not respect a different way of doing things.
What I learned was that not caring about what others think as I honed my teaching style, choose my homeschool approach, and curriculum didn’t mean I couldn’t respect their choices.
I know that as a homeschooler we are pretty opinionated people and I can admit that.
Having my strong opinion about how to homeschool my kids didn’t mean I couldn’t respect another homeschooler’s opinion even if it was different than mine.
THREE/ Talk with a close homeschooling friend who really knows you.
One of the best things I did was to talk to a close homeschooling friend who knows me inside out.
When I was struggling in my leadership group with dressing in a way that didn’t make me feel good inside, it was because deep down I don’t like drama in a group.
Talking to a friend who helped me to see that I can’t control what others think, helped me to focus on not worrying about what if drama occurs.
It bothered me too because when I get dressed up it’s part of what makes me feel good down inside.
My closest homeschooling friend helped me to appreciate that it’s also unhealthy to not be who I am and what makes me light up.
I love sweats and putting my hair up, but a lot of times those are moments (to me) that are for private. I don’t go out in public looking like that.
My homeschooling style is similar.
We have a certain routine or formality that runs our day because it makes our homeschooling dynamic.
I did have a homeschool room when the kids were little and set it up a lot like a school room. We loved going in our room each day and I loved how organized it was.
Also, in the privacy of our home we wear our pjs and sweats too. Just like we have a very relaxed and informal learning time each day.For many years now I dress to make me happy as I attend or lead homeschool events. The same way I run my homeschool. And just like when I got sidetracked in my leadership roles and dressed in a frumpy way that didn’t please, I’ve made the same mistakes when homeschooling.
I’ve chosen curriculum that I’ve had to dump because it didn’t fit our homeschooling lifestyle. It’s so easy to forget who you are in the world of homeschooling.
I won’t ever let it happen again.
Have you made some of the same mistakes?
I think you’ll also like these tips!
- Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs?
- Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children? Part 1.
- Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children? Part 2.
Hugs and love ya,